after the stromy rain today, the sun shone so bright

running today

i wish i had my camera, of course

the most perfect overly tanned man drug a rusty tractor across the land

the tire rims were a crusty, mold green color

the body: a burnt orange, faded and cracked

it looked wonderful against the monstrous mountains

with sunflowers in the foreground

oh well

i kept running

kayne's "stronger" comes on, naturally

"that that don't kill me can only make me stronger"

and i'm thinking of wolff's law

I learn about wolff's law all day long

wolff's law says, our bodies will respond to the stresses placed upon it

now this doesn't always mean that the response will always be positive or stronger, the stress could very well break a bone for instance

(this is the reason why the elderly for instance need to be exercising, and lifting lightly-correctly-to strengthen their bones. speaking of bones—in america we hit our physical peak from 23-25. oh hell. i feel like i should do something great with this peak. what pressure!! bear children? climb mount everest? run another marathon? gah. i'm going to be depressed when i hit 27 and haven't accomplished any of those...)

but i love this law

i love thinking about it while working out

i take longer strides

stretch my stomach

push forward

watch my form

i tell myself im strong

i'm getting stronger

and i thought about wolf's law, and kayne's lyrics

that which doesn't kill you will only make you stronger

i see this in my life, not just my workouts, but i see this in dealing with the anguish i have had about chad, dealing with a divorce (or two?), moving, confronting problems, break ups, financial lows, sin, sickness, starting a business, joining the church, beginning personal training

i'm finding myself coming out of a long spiritual rut, where i knew i wasn't reaching my potential

where i knew i wasn't fully happy

where i knew i wasn't doing any good for anyone else

and i knew i would come out stronger when i turned around

or woke up

or made changes

and i'm stronger than ever

and i love my past

sounds terrible, honestly, but it has unfolded me into who i am today

happy and strong and healthy and moving in the right direction

here are some very happy lyrics i heard on pandora today: (im loving pandora, type in XX as your next station...really do it)

"happy is the heart that still feels pain

darkness drains and light will come again

swing open up your chest and let it in

just let the love, love, love begin"

—ingrid michaelson "everybody"

so i kept running

and pushed it harder

and exercised positive self talk : i told myself i was proud of where i am

and proud of my changes

and proud to be thinking clearly and happily

and then a bug flew into my mouth

and i thought, "that that doesn't kill me can only make me stronger"

and i swallowed the thing.