atop a rock. my favorite blanket wrapped around me. i just sat.
and watched this boy.
i held my camera snuggled in my arms like a baby
i brought it to my eye. rested it on my knees. and i think i even kissed it.
i soaked in the sun
i closed my eyes
and just listened
tears streamed down my cheeks
i could feel it in my heart
or deeper than my heart
and there arn't words that can do it justice
my being overflowing.
the ocean wasn't even big enough for it that day.
i watched him hop from rock to rock
i watched him discover crabs in the cracks
i rested my head on my camera and opened my thoughts.
there are some moments so precious
there are somethings so sacred that they should not be shared. my impressions were of such. i cried in prayer to my heavenly father. i whispered thank yous for my beautiful life, for all the details, for all the people, for all the joy, for the strength, for the creativity, for the peace i feel
the air was salty and my tears warmed my cheeks, coating tracks
i looked at him and thought i've never felt so much gratitude before
i've never felt such a profound desire to make someone happy
and for now, all i can say is this
God really does know us and love us
having a desire and trying to live to have his Spirit with you is the greatest change you can make in your life
being in love doesn't mean everything is perfect. all the time.
i remember steve saying i read too many nicholas sparks books (like the notebook). that i had an expectation for a "perfect" love.
i dream. i do it in the most loveliest forms. my dreaming is fanciful.
the creativity runs wild. and i love it.
but it is not necessarily my expectations. perhaps when i was younger i thought it was possible. gullible. naive. a dreamer =]
and i still dream. its healthy and happy. but i have learned.
i have learned so very much.
we learn that the pure love of Christ is 100% selfless. charity.
"...pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers..." moroni 7:45
love is sacrifice.
it is learning to give.
love is something that develops not something you find all the sudden.
it is not perfect.
it is not always happy.
it is a willingness to work.
i was watching the wedding planner (with jlo. ridiculous right?) saturday night AND i learned something. or was reminded of something. I've blogged about arranged marriages before, and how our culture is different from others in this aspect. I feel that it is easy, and so many people believe in the wrong concept of love. It is misunderstood.
in the wedding planner, she learns about her parents having an arranged marriage and how they didn't really like each other at first. but when he was sick, she took care of him. they sacrificed for each other. the learned to like each other. then like turned to love. and it seems to forever be growing.
i know that in every relationship each person is imperfect. on top of that, the relationship will be imperfect. there are going to be bad times, hard times, disagreements, and lulls. are you willing to stick it out during those times? are you willing to sacrifice for that person? are they worth it to you? the storms will come. where will your roots be? will there be a stable foundation in the gospel? will you have developed strong communication? do you have the same goal in mind?
i took a picture on my phone of a quote i saw painted on a red wooden heart, "love gives you a fairytale".
i'm living my fairytale.
i really am. prettier than even my dreams painted.
and it's imperfect. and to me, that's what makes it so perfect.
he isn't a cookie cut of perfection. but darn, he's close.
it creates the opportunity to grow and progress and learn and become who i need to be.
and gosh, would it be boring if it was perfect.
i know that life will happen. trials and struggles and people will die. and for some reason i keep thinking i want him to be the one i tell all my fears to. the one i cry to. the friend i figure out how to create a life with despite the struggles.
sorry for the lack of blogging. i have been busy resisting the urge to barf.
i'm off to the store to get sprite and pepto. and yes, i still call my mom crying when i am sick.
there's no one like kristy to bring me advil when i'm dying..
i may or may not live.
p.s. if i do die,
at my funeral: i want everyone to eat lindts white chocolate truffles, and wear bright colored clothes and sing hie to kolab and some other favorite hymns and everyone should eat dried mangoes and sip on apple beer. and maybe there should be colorful windmills and a game of bocce ball.
even when i don't really believe in horoscopes, mine has a way of ticking me off some days.
Hi Desiree! Here is your Daily Horoscope for Monday, November 1
Those around you seem to be operating on different assumptions than you are, and that could be bad news for them -- and you, unfortunately! There's not much you can do about it until a day or two have passed.
super. don't even send these out man. only love and kisses and happy thoughts are welcome in my inbox. yes. thank you.