Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Saturday, December 6, 2008
but here is a excerpt for everyone to take a much needed moment to ponder...and remember, he was talking to the women, but this definitely applies to men and non-mothers as well. =]enjoy
"The Work of Creation
The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before.
Everyone can create. You don’t need money, position, or influence in order to create something of substance or beauty.
Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty—and I am not talking about the process of cleaning the rooms of your teenage children.
You might say, “I’m not the creative type. When I sing, I’m always half a tone above or below the note. I cannot draw a line without a ruler. And the only practical use for my homemade bread is as a paperweight or as a doorstop.”
If that is how you feel, think again, and remember that you are spirit daughters of the most creative Being in the universe. Isn’t it remarkable to think that your very spirits are fashioned by an endlessly creative and eternally compassionate God? Think about it—your spirit body is a masterpiece, created with a beauty, function, and capacity beyond imagination.
But to what end were we created? We were created with the express purpose and potential of experiencing a fulness of joy.4 Our birthright—and the purpose of our great voyage on this earth—is to seek and experience eternal happiness. One of the ways we find this is by creating things.
If you are a mother, you participate with God in His work of creation—not only by providing physical bodies for your children but also by teaching and nurturing them. If you are not a mother now, the creative talents you develop will prepare you for that day, in this life or the next.
You may think you don’t have talents, but that is a false assumption, for we all have talents and gifts, every one of us.5 The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet of paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano. Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before—colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter.
What you create doesn’t have to be perfect. So what if the eggs are greasy or the toast is burned? Don’t let fear of failure discourage you. Don’t let the voice of critics paralyze you—whether that voice comes from the outside or the inside.
If you still feel incapable of creating, start small. Try to see how many smiles you can create, write a letter of appreciation, learn a new skill, identify a space and beautify it.
Nearly a century and a half ago, President Brigham Young spoke to the Saints of his day. “There is a great work for the Saints to do,” he said. “Progress, and improve upon and make beautiful everything around you. Cultivate the earth, and cultivate your minds. Build cities, adorn your habitations, make gardens, orchards, and vineyards, and render the earth so pleasant that when you look upon your labors you may do so with pleasure, and that angels may delight to come and visit your beautiful locations. In the mean time continually seek to adorn your minds with all the graces of the Spirit of Christ.”6
The more you trust and rely upon the Spirit, the greater your capacity to create. That is your opportunity in this life and your destiny in the life to come. Sisters, trust and rely on the Spirit. As you take the normal opportunities of your daily life and create something of beauty and helpfulness, you improve not only the world around you but also the world within you. ..."
I love Heavenly Father for granting me the ability to create. This is one of the primary purposes for our time spent on Earth. If reading this talk, and realizing the talents and blessings God has given you doesn't bring a smile to your face and warmth in your soul, then I don't know what will. My joy has never been so full.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
My girlfriend Sheri and her husband Matt had their baby boy just two weeks after this shoot! Caleb James Lemau was born 8lbs. 14 oz. & 21 inches long! He's adorable baby, hopefully I will have newborn pics posted within the next month. =] horray for bellies!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
So my boyfriend blogs. Blogs are something entirely of this generation. I feel like this world is getting more and more complicated. I am going to be the old lady that is still hand-writes and listens to CD’s, because those things will one day be lost like everything else. Blogs are healthy though. They are public journals, for the most part, and likely therapeutic to the writer, like all writing is. Hopefully. And may I recognize that I use the words “therapeutic” and “healthy habits” often. I am always trying to discover these healthy habits in life and be apart of them. I feel like I am a constant tornado of stress, demands, and lack of everything: mostly time, money, humility, and patience. I’ll put in a “UGGGG” to that. So I was reading and pondering Bradd’s blog. Thank goodness he blogs. It attracts my heart to his. When I am done reading, in my head of course, I am repeating I love you’s. I am fond of how his brain works and the secrets that he shares with the world. He is a genius—nothing short of it in my eyes. And that’s how it should be. So he wrote, “All my life I told myself that one day I’d be the Dr. Jones in the story of my life. I’d take life by the reigns and shake it into submission, then ride it to the man I wanted to be. Recently a spiritual leader in my life asked me if I could truly look at myself through unbiased eyes, and see who I actually was. Could I ask myself if the deeds I committed that day brought me closer to who I imagined myself to be? Or, was I simply imagining harder and harder everyday that I hadn’t diverged from the path.” So this made me remember and turn back into my notes…some weeks back, Mr. Jacobs explained to the class that “You’re never up to date” on how you see yourself. There is a lag in there. How other’s see you is somewhere ahead of how you see yourself, and this occurs through out life. This is a very difficult concept to wrap one’s brain around. I can state, easily, how I see myself. I agree that how I see myself and how others view me are different in most aspects but also similar in some. I don’t truly know other people’s opinions though. Most people are just not that honest, and blunt to my face, I think. This is hard.
Bradd’s comment is concerning himself spiritually, but this can also be applied to all aspects of our lives. Can we look through the bird’s eye and see what we really are—that we were moving forward toward who we want to be—or is that an object of our imagination? Is that something that we desire badly enough that we trick, and short change, our self into believing we’re there? It would be fabulous if we did have a clear and truthful concept of what we REALLY are, then a more heightened what we want to be. There should be a difference—a space between the two—ALWAYS. This is the room to grow. This is the room to learn, gain knowledge and experience, and the opportunity to live a blessed life. These are humble moments. If you think about it, the only times in life where we don’t have this humble perspective of reflection is when our hearts are prideful. When we think that we’re fine with where we are at, that this is good enough, and that we’re the best. Now that is unhealthy. Perhaps because people are generally not very open about this process of self analysis, I think that more people than not ARE filled with this pride. I know that even when I was young, before I learned of the gospel, I was a spiritual person. I was interested in philosophy and digging deeper into the mysteries of life. I wake up in the morning and know what my purpose is in life. I know who I am and where I am going because I have knowledge of Heavenly Father’s Plan. There is so much more happiness available when we realize why we are here on earth and the mission we have. Prideful people, which often includes me, let their personal desires and selfish, temporal pleasure rule their lives instead of understanding the bigger picture.
Looking this deeply into ourselves, knowing that we’re usually hardest on ourselves, can become a depressing action. This concept, in generality, is that we should have goals. We should have knowledge of the correct steps that need to be taken to reach those goals. We should, somehow, hold ourselves or have other’s hold us accountable for reaching those goals. We should be in-tune with our own lives enough to know who we want to be and how our status is in achieving them.
Back to the statement that Mr. Jacobs made, I don’t know that there is just a lag in from how we see ourselves as to how others view us. I think there is always a difference, not necessarily a lag, but that we never really view ourselves the same as others do. I don’t have any information or science to back up the idea either way…so I don’t really know why I feel the way I do because it can not be proven. I just do. I DO think, though, that all persons in our lives know only particles of our being. Maybe an incredibly close spouse would know you top to bottom, but in most cases—YOU are the only one who really knows who you are. That is except for Heavenly Father who knows all and sees all. I think that Heavenly Father probably knows me better than I know myself because I AM tainted and biased by my desires to be something that is beyond who I am today. This is an interesting idea, but also something that can not really be proven. Who we are is always changing and could be different from day to day. But let me sum up what I think I am, who I want to be, and what I think others view me as.
There are a couple things that I know for a fact. I know that I am:: a daughter of God, a sister to many, a student, an athlete, a waitress, and someone’s ex-wife. I am strong, quick to learn, and efficient. I am hard working, bossy, and in love with love. I am passionate, small, and currently sick. I am incredibly opinionated, careful, and outgoing. I am proud and well mannered, tired and ready to learn more. I am the girl that played soccer with the boys while the girls were cheerleaders. I am the one speaking my mind and laughing at your jokes. I am an aspiring artist. Aspiring. I am young and experienced. I am poor and doing well. I am behind but I am so very blessed.
There are some things that I am; but there are many more that I am not. I fall short. I always do. The questions and theme stated previously are heavy questions because we want to be WHAT WE ARE NOT. My list of thing that I AM are fine and dandy but the question of “Am I becoming who I want to be?” is addressing that there are things that I lack, areas that I lack. What are these? What do I want to be, that I am not already? I want to be a mother. More than anything. I want to be worthy, more patient, and charitable. I want to be able to wake up for an early morning run. I want to be a better daughter to my parents. I want to be humble and obedient. I want to have more energy. I want to be more sympathetic, kind, and optimistic. I want to be a more talented and experienced photographer. I want to be helping others. I want to travel, write more, and speak Italian. I want to be a personal trainer, gardener, and scrapbooker. I want to be a decent cook. I want to hold parties, play with my kids, and sing. I want to snowboard, start my genealogy, and read more books. I want to make a new anklet, bake with my grandma, and go for a walk. I want to love beyond the curves of my heart. I want to be a better example to others. I want to give more. I want to dance, stretch, and drive a nicer car. I want to play more and work less. I want to build up the
I suppose a blog is meant to share. Share whatever, share nothing, just share. I see it more as a free way to organize and compile my stuff that I don't wanna loose. Here's one thing I don't want to loose: a poem I wrote Bradd this summer. It is entirely written from letters that Bradd and I wrote one another in early 2006, when we first met. I took random lines from the letters and put them into a poem of sorts.
Pancakes in the Morning
There is something familiar about you
It’s like medicine to treat my homesickness
My clumsy words
My life’s pursuit
My ramshackle cobbling of words
A smile to your face
I just composed you
It’s like opening up an old clock
The first and last time we met
The most pleasant distraction
How I woke up all groggy this morning to a beautiful girl
To spew thoughts that we don’t normally share
Has subtly crept in and around all my defenses
I’ll be sure to praise this evening
One of those super ornate, hand-crafted ones
That sounds like something I’d write
Everybody has their nuances—
But it seems like ours keep overlapping
Using a secret force
I decided to jump in the crowd and get lost
I can’t explain why
From back when life was somehow simpler
You remember anything from this dream?
My mind is playin dirty tricks on my hands
Divulging your inner thoughts
An obsession with blankets
But alas, I’ve given away my secret weakness
I’d wager that you’ve grown since we met
Then you wind it and realize
We’re the same kind of crazy
And you disappear like a ninja
Which always has unfortunate timing
Thanks for the hospitality
Even though you don’t live there
We’ll pile a cone 9 scoops high if you want
That even after all this time
The only one I just can’t stand being away from
Some real tangling
Like puzzle pieces falling into place
Try not to fall asleep during them
It may well save your life one day
Cause we’re young and in love
It still works perfectly
Us driving anywhere together
You rarely make sense
But I am never confused
You’ll find someone that’s on the same page
But this time forever
Like the script for the best love story ever written