Tuesday, July 30, 2013


"In a penal context, many consider solitary confinement a form of psychological torture; in prolonged cases, it can lead to complete mental collapse.  The most terrifying specter that haunts the modern psyche is not death or disease or nuclear annihilation.  
It is loneliness.
We pass through birth and death as individuals.  But the years in between are filled with the unceasing search for community, for companionship, for intimacy."

—— The God Who Weeps

I have been thinking about this.
how true it really is.
i think loneliness scares people terribly.  i think it has scared me too.
in the very worst times of my life, i have felt more alone than ever before.
the loneliness is what made it so bad.
i have had comparably bad things happen at other times when i did not feel alone, and they weren't so bad.

there is something about this.

it makes me think about God's plan for us.
i have recently thought about the organization of the family.
God didn't place us alone on our own worlds.
he could have.
but there is a reason we are here with our families.
to edify each other. to support and teach each other.  to care for one another.
to LOVE.

good gravy.  does any one else look around at the disruption of families and worry??
my own life has been touched by several divorces, several children out of wedlock, unideal situations. gay marriage is on the rise.  abortions as easy as ever.  polygamy. addictions. abuse. anger. childhood obesity. 

it breaks my heart.
luckily, we can do something about ourselves. our own family.
satan is set on destroying the family.
planting contention, pain, anything that will drive us apart.
do you believe that is true?

satan would have us feel lonely.

loneliness is not of God.  He is always with us.  He also blesses us with a lot of good people around us to help and to help us.  The community, the intimacy, to be joined with others to love them and to also feel loved and needed.  
its in our nature.
God loves us so much.

im so grateful that ive learned from the loneliest of times in my life that it doesn't have to be so.  im grateful for good friends and family that are there for me. and above all, im grateful that God never leaves us.  he does not abandon us to be miserable.  His hands are outstretched still.  

Thursday, July 18, 2013

danee & rob

this amazing couple were the first wedding i ever photographed…. and oh how i love them!
i can't think of two people that will be better parents.   some sweet baby is going to be ever blessed to be welcomed into their home.
such dear friends to me and a huge support.
i love you guys always!

Over You

one time
i drove on the freeway and this song came on.
i had sung it a hundred times without listening to it.

my heart was melted.
i let myself cry.
i thought of the snippets of memories of my brother
they flashed across my mind
like old film, like my dreams

i wish he got to have a wife and children.
i wish i could hear his laugh.
i wish he wasn't stuck how he is.
i just wish for God to be with him.

i miss my brother.
some days are more sad than others.
and in the end, i know that we will all be happy and together again.
and its all ok.

i am reminded this life is but just a small moment in the span of eternity.
and i feel blessed to be on this earth.
to have my family. to have the truth. to have a healthy body.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013


watch this 4 minute clip on my friends blog.
Bra Badges: Chilling

my heart just aches.
as i watched the clip i was reminded:
the worth of every soul is great in the eyes of God

the reality of the destruction of lust and pornography needs to be exposed into our society that says its "normal" and OK.  or that a little bit is OK. or just as long as i have control over it, its OK.  or that its healthy.

there is ABSOLUTELY nothing healthy about it.
it is common, but it is not OK.
and thankfully there is a way out of it.
it does not have to be a part of your life or your loved ones life.
Heavenly Father loves you.  He has provided a Savior to help you and give you the chance to heal.  God wants happiness for you, and freedom from chains that bind you down.

please email me to learn more or if you have questions on what to do.