Tuesday, May 25, 2010

hey mom

this is my front yard.
i like to go for runs-as im trodding along i pass several farms and ranches. one of them looks like a 2 million dollar ranch (home) and a couple acres of land. it is absolutely gorgeous. but this flock of cows apparently hibernate during the winter because i never even knew they existed (although i could smell them from time to time) until about a month ago.

sometimes in the middle of the night i am startled awake by the sound of one of them moo0ooo0-ing. so weird.

here's mah new hairdo.
the best is when people come up to me-saying that they love the new color-then (with a funny face) say they really did not like the blonde at all. it still is a mean thing to say even if it doesn't exist any more...haha

those are just pretty.

i'm almost done with my new website and im super stoked. I think it will be ready by this weekend. my next task is to design more business cards cause i'm almost out! =] eventually this blog is going to move to something more photo-friendly..

here's a funny thought from an earlier day:
most days-i have it SO figured out. i think i got it all going in the right direction. then this moment comes around when i realize im seriously bluffing it. I don't know what i am or who im suppose to be. i don't really know what i like and what i hate. it's all subject to change. i'm just making it all up. the improv life. where i can't make up my mind. honest. i don't really know what i want, and when i say that i don't really know what i mean.

i just ate a whole bag of dried mangoes. alone.
and it was real good.
i have a sugar problem
and a mango problem

my pasta water is boiling over..

Saturday, May 15, 2010

happy day

at 3 am last night,
i still wasn't asleep
i craved pie, fruit pie
with sugary crust

i dreamt
i don't understand how we can have such strong feelings in dreams
dreams are really weird concept
a movie or clips, a pretty soundtrack your subconscious festers up
maybe i would like to study the topic

this photo was from a really sad day i was having.
and i call it happy day flowers even though it was more of a tree...

i've decided that i hate the routine of life and the urge for everyone to try to fit into some category.

i ate the most wonderful sourdough toast this morning while chatting with my best friend and now im going to go curl my hair

Monday, May 10, 2010

mr and mrs hilliker

i think i cried 4 times at this wedding...super sweet and genuine. this is what true love looks like.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

shots in the foot

i use to have anxiety attacks every time someone, particularly my ex husband, would sit on my off white suede (that IS spelled correctly..weird) couch cover. I would panic that it would get stained and wrinkled, like i couldn't replace it for 30 bucks... my apartment in long beach was only 500 sq feet. just enough space for His life size arcade game and a bed. THUS sitting on the couch was the only option...but still i always freaked out about it. i bet i will die younger over the kind of stress i put my body under. such a stupid and silly thing to even think about.
i really regret being like that and it still bothers me years later.

my password to anything is the exact same thing with a different boyfriends name plugged in for the appropriate "registration" period.

i love not wearing make up because i can wipe my eyes as much as i want with freedom and relief. and because my danny says im pretty like that

i always feel sad when a chuck palanuik book is over. especially half way through a flight when i have nothing else to do..

i just decided that i really want to run away today. i don't even care where and i don't even care about taking anything except my camera and a book.

i wished my retainer didn't hurt so much to wear at night. i'm tired of dreams of babies. and it's time for me to get a drink of water.
lots of photos to come soon. soon. when my computer starts being friends with me again.