my apologies

view more of brenna & kris's engagements

yes it is 3am in utah

and yes i have spent the last two hours antique/vintage/photog/wedding perusing online.

it has become my obsession

it's TERRIBLE

and so very wonderful at the same time.

I am going to guess that i have about 98 links bookmarked under "popular"

for me to check each day.

it's taking over my life

even the other day i was thinking, i wonder how nienie's kids are doing today...

gah! someone save me!!

ANYWAY—i had another wonderful weekend

with french toast

shopping with the ladies in park city for long sleeved things

and little girls that pretend to be smelly flowers

i had a bit of inspired thought and i ran in the door and jotted it all down. those are the best moments. i have so many ideas for projects right now, and i'm so afraid i will forget them all. and i just wish i had all day to read books, and be inspired by vintage blogs, and make neat things all day. i MUST find a way to do just that everyday. and get paid. Tiana, i'm telling you—we must own a business together...what'll it be? veils? wedding planning? designers of some sort? make stationary? jewelry? our own tee shirt line? i thought we already decided on this...

OH and i want a nook. like a reading nook in my house one day. i little corner of the house that is comfy and warm and has pillows—where i can read. or write. maybe in a library. or a "good" room..

i decided this weekend, my dream is this:

i don't want to work normal hours. i want us to have our weekends off to go to yard sales every saturday morning and have orange juice together on the porch. i want jobs where we use our mind, and are known for our talents, and can express uniqueness. and someone will buy it. and love it. like i do. and i want to own an antique shop. and make things all day. and look at dainty china and old window frames. i don't know how POSSIBLY i could love something so much. old retro jewelry-globes on the ceiling-rusty cans-faded blue glass-iron bed frames-ivory lace. does it make you squirm inside? boy, do i love it. And i dream that i will find a niche in my creations and i will bake and i will sew something really cool and i will learn to attempt all the arts i think i'm terrible at and i will never stop learning.

it is becoming too late. i meant to wake up early tomorrow. i have more things to study and do.

this was a mess of a post.