desiredshots

i have this thing

i get this weird anxiety about falling in love (like for REAL being in love)

i kind of fear marrying someone, (and not even the marrying part) but loving someone THAT deeply, profoundly to where you give them your all, 100% vulnerable, and you become one-kind of deal.

BECAUSE i'm so very afraid of something terrible happening to that person

and they will be gone

and my heart will be gone

and i will hurt like never before

i fear that this will happen

they'll die in some freak accident while im pregnant with our 6th child and we'll have the dreamiest family/marriage/love

and life will turn upside down, inside out like never before

and i will hurt in unthinkable ways

insecurity? commitment issue? silly fear? completely normal thought?

i think about this from time to time.

oh, me and my head.