Friday, April 17, 2009

how i always want to remember

i haven't been able to sleep at all this week. except for the night i took a swig of nyquil to rest my stuffy head.

i have been laying in bed for at least 2 hours before my body gives into the sleep lately.
my mind won't let it go.
it bounces around topics, and eventually writes poetry. sometimes its cool, but not cool enough to turn on the light and leave the warmth of my bed. but last night i was annoyed with my awakeness so i wrote. i kinda hate it but whatever. it began with the thought of one boy, then drifted to another boy, and ended with yet a different boy. stupid man. but the three aren't connected at all, and i don't even know why i was thinking of them.


here.


inbetween
the nose length
the shirt length
the record length
the hair length
the song length
the silence length
i am wedge between

where you're too much,
he's not enough
the tips of a V
that i've fallen between
into the crack I trip
smaller, smaller, furthur i go
to the tip bottom corner,
i stretch forth for the last feel
i open my palm but no ones there
dead, cold air grazes my arm
there is nothing to hold
your length is too much
and never enough

im quiet and waiting
submissive in my V like corner
where weighty gravity pulls

you dance in my dreams
sparkles in my head
echos of laughter
and overly sunny days

you give me one of those looks
and i funny face it back
you wink, i smirk
and you kiss my blushed cheek bone
i swirl in my dress
a tap on my shoulder
i spin your direction
and suddenly you've faded
i can't even remember your face
your voice is lost
the boy that was once so alive
buried, all the emotion with it.
panic
and i can't recall your smell
or the song you sung
so I cry to remember it all
and still, you're floating away

curled in my corner
there is nothing to hold
dead, cold air grazes my arm
i stretch forth for the last feel
and try to remember,
at what length would be ideal?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Get over it already.

desiredshots PHOTOGRAPHY said...

dearest anonymous,

i highly doubt that you understand half of what i am talking about but in the case that you do, please read this http://www.getwellchad.blogspot.com/

and let me know just how exactly i should go about getting over it already. it's been a long time and my heart is heavy. any tips at all are appreciated. thanks for reading