hot n heavy, pumpkin pie

i didnt take many photos on my birthday

but here are some of my birthday things:
MOM these are the coolest EVER

i was so excited when i got the thing to work the first time!

it's magical watching it develop. it's like a fall in love every time.
speaking of love..

heeellllloooo NYC firefighter calendar...
britt knows me too well.. art and cake and sculpted men! what's better than that?!
homemade. deliciousness.

well i have have had a seriously busy week/weekend.

i'm using tomorrow to catch up/read/edit/write/meditate/get a massage

today my hair is curled and it seems i will go running and mess it up =]

i have 3 serious goals for this week:

-go to sleep early (ish) this should read: get ample sleep

-watch the words i say (no cursing, no gossiping, no talking negative) whoops!

-read my scriptures devoutly before bed each night

i can do that.

I recently had an AH HA! moment. it all came together.

and although it doesn't stop my heart from hurting or loving or wanting

it does make me happy and content and excited

i realized that it is time to change perspectives

and the moment i began to- i was filled with hope

and love and stillness

my mind stopped reeling from one sad thing to another

and i feel a lot of peace for doing the best that i can do

one of my top 5 goals from this past fall was to "let go of anything you can't control" and at the time i saw that manifest in little things, but as for lately, this is a difficult thing to learn to do. but i am doing it. and i wake up everyday and try some more and i rely on my savior and again, he helps me to know how.

i keep saying i need to write a book on how to get through grief and heartache

i swear i'm a pro at it by now

but, thankfully, the book is already written

and it's titled: The Book of Mormon