Tuesday, August 10, 2010

my little china doll

oh its so good
it tastes like candy

slurp. lick noise. gulp.
i want to wrap her up in a spinach tortilla and eat er for brunch

little weird...hah
im zonked, exhausted
i haven't quite slept well in weeks
i am having serious running withdrawals
but im such a happy lady

i wrote in the margin of my book (and im really writing all over this one..)
"he does not define you. you define you."
you get to write your own script in life

he can be anyone, anything—a spouse, family, a job, wealth, ideas, political status, religion etc.
do not leave your sense of identity and worth up to something or someone else to define
all of those things are out of your control
all of those things are subject to change
and they will take you down with them

it is key, vital, to success in life and happiness, to be able to be completely independent
and solely define and creative your own life
this may sound cheesy
but it is a beautiful and deep and introspective PRINCIPLE (not faulty idea)
to try to live

i've been dwelling on this
and on myself, my flaws (its even an ugly word. bleh)
and on how i have let other people or things define me, affect me
when all i really need is firm grasp on who i am, my values, and be confident in my sound mind

he would always say,
"don't let yourself be upset over something you can not control"
so every little thing that has negatively happened lately, i have thought, Can i control this situation? Can i control what he or she will do or does? Can I change this? if the answer is no, i don't let it hurt my character. and i clean up the mess efficiently with out going down with it.
i have been soo much happier since i have done this

can i help that he doesn't love me?
on with the show.

the flight attendants sang as the timid passengers clung to their seats on southwest this weekend
i thought it funny
i love to fly


mom said...

Now THAT is healthy. Very. Love you and your mind.

mom said...

well, except for the "...wrap her up in a spinach tortilla and eat her..."