me: (after lunch with sheri and her sweet babies) i'm feeling baby hungry. i almost nibbled off the little ones ear. (then i probably said) oh hell.
T: i've got a bit of an appetite for such a dish as well. mostly i want me the "man-course" if you will...
me: it seems i'm bulimic. i keep barfing my man-course back up.
T: ...we should probably hit a 12 step meeting
me: im sick of love songs. im sick of people telling me he's a shmuck and i should move on. i'm sick of kissing boys that don't mean anything by it. empty kisses are like empty calories—they taste good but leave me distraught and hungry.
T: i've never heard a more profound rant! and i really feel like we share a heart. lol. i've had much of the same turmoil lately and it upsetting. i even notice me trying to fake it in my prayers...like i can trick my heart into being the strong "better off" girl. empty calories are the devils work!!
me: im sorry youre hurting too, but it makes me feel better that youre goin through it and still standing on two feet. with heels and painted nails! i dont know what hit me. but i cant pull off the superwoman look lately.
T: yes always heels. helps your posture.......and it does help to have a fellow tortured soul so im glad i can be that for you.
me: i think its all the damn pregnant people (sorry people), and the frilly weddings, and going back to school/ move forward in life season. and i miss him and some days i cant forget him. and somedays i like feeling sorry for myself. im going to mail my book to you as soon as i can finish it.
T: definitely tis the season it feels like, huh? like everyone is rushing past me or something. youre not doing anything wrong though or being wasteful with time and all that i think there is something just far more lovely waiting for you tat can't be rushed that way. youre too fly to have a life parallel with the rest of society
me: you make my depression sound so pretty. Cymbalta with a bow.
T: HAHA! please slow down so i can document all of this...cymbalta with a bow yes!
me: lol don't worry, i just typed our convo onto my blog
T: lol yesss i LOVE being published. now if i can just get someone with a lot of money to buy into my antics the way you do...
me: im thinking some big investor is bound to accidentally read my blog and realize our worth for once! we'll be rich one day lady. in money and in real kisses and pretty tea cups.
T: especccccially pretty tea cups. you know how much better things taste out of fancy things? i choose NOT to live my life flavorless, thank you.
me: im pretty sure ive been slurping backwash from someone else's fancy mug. Hell I need my own muse. I almost bought a large mug with a heart that said, "life is good" but i found it too optimistic so i stormed out of the shop and onto the airplane
T: haha! yeah sometimes you just can't lie to yourself. and you know what? why should you! everyone else does enough of that for us. we's all we's got at the end of the day, might as well keep it real!
me: lol youre the best. there is a reason why were such good friends. glad i have a shoulder to belt rants with.
T: you and me both sister! and you've fallen upon good fortune due to my recent shoulder sculpting. thank you black genes for giving me extra muscular definition to hold up Desiree during this life juncture.
me: praise them genes! im a lucky lady!
i have to go running but this is bein posted to my blog this instant. our baby girls will need to read this one sad day, and they'll know where to turn.
T: gosh good thing i have you to think about my future. at this point, my unborn child is that dirty shoe-less kid in the grocery store with an un-bottoned onesie and snot in her hair
me: lol you're killing me! im going running! thanks for making me smile when i was on the verge of tears.
and thats how it went
i know we sound like crazy women
and surely we won't get any men from this posting baahaahahaa
but hell it isn't working out otherwise
really though T and I are fine. were not obsessed with love and marriage and that junk
and were not REAAALLLY depressed
we just like to make humor of our pissy days
=] life IS still good !
cuz i got friends like T money
and new blue jeans from my mom