i did a sad interpretive dance to this song in my neon pink sports bra while the shower was running.
this is how my week has been.
joshua told me i'm not broken.
it's funny the kind of power our minds have.
how we choose to look at things. how simply words can change things.
how we can fall apart or feel like we can conquer the world with a change of thought.
i pondered the other day how young people (middle school/high school) choose their dates/boyfriend/girlfriend based off attraction right? being attracted to that person creates this "liking" within you. a relationship forms from this.
THEN you get big. like me.
and you start having the thought that the guy you're probably attracted to-- isn't even nice.
SO when you get to be a big girl--- and add up the number of attraction-based boys that have broken your pretty lil heart— you begin to realize that any initial "liking" is only that. it doesn't mean anything at all.
i can't decide if it is good or bad, but i have started to see relationships much more business like. sure-yes-chemistry and connection is necessary but that seems to be easier to come by than the real important parts. parts like real life communication skills. parts like a testimony in Jesus Christ and a love for the gospel. parts like patience and gentleness and a desire to improve always.
these thoughts are rather messy.
they really look simple in my mind.
all of this sounds like im reading an awful lot into this. i agree. it's been on my mind this week. not only am i teaching a lesson on marriage but i soon turn 25 and my ex is getting married. somehow all of this is related.
and has blessed me with a terrible mood.