Wednesday, March 25, 2009

i promise, im on it

yesterday i walked by a boutique in lost gatos. there were handmade little baby booties. it made me swoon. i fell in love with little pink sequin ones, and little girly green ones with a tiny strap.

later that night as i slept i had a baby.
for some reason i blurred through the "give birth" part.
suddenly it began with my baby girl in my arms for the first time.

i didn't feel sad, until i woke up, and realized that i didn't have a husband in this dream.
i was a single parent. but there was a female with me. it was my sister, kristy, but she didn't look like herself. she looked kind of like my mom but mexican.
it was all so strange.
but kristy sat by my bed side and i cried as i held my daughter.

her name is bella.
immediately i breast fed her, which is super weird to first be experiencing in a dream.
it kind of hurt, but i was overwhelmed with joy. i couldn't take my eyes off my baby girl.

then she became the biggest poopy mess on the planet. i started throwing dirty diapers across the room. not angrily, as that may sound. but more laughing and happily changing my newborn's pants.

she looked up at me, suddenly months old, with bright blue eyes and giggled.
i was the happiest i have ever been. in real life or dream. accept for maybe the dream i had when my dark haired husband spoke to me about going sailing on our wedding day.

that was also incredible happiness.
these kinds of dreams make me real excited to go to bed tonight.

i had a bit of a scare with my dad tonight. i thought something was wrong with him. like emergency wrong. like in danger. it was a weird phone call. apparently i overracted but i was crying. and i'd just like to say that there is nothing more important in life than the precious and sweet people around you. i know how quickly and easily these people can pass before us. time should be spent to nurture these relationships as much as possible. i knelt in prayer almost immediately. i have so many people to be thankful for.

goodnight lovely friends.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Are you saying I look Mexican?
I think you meant to say Italian.
mom

desiredshots PHOTOGRAPHY said...

hahaa nooo
thats why i thought it was weird
cuz she looked like you but more mexican looking...and some people probably do think youre mexican mom...hate to break it to ya. just got the darkness goin on.