Friday, January 25, 2013

the unmundane

i have found myself, spontaneously and somewhat unconsciously, in a scary and very cool spot in my life.
i feel that i am embarking on a new process. a process i have done before.
but this time in a different way.
and i assume (and hope) to repeat this process over and over again so long as i have blood pumping through me.

this process has many proper names.
but i like to call it: reinventing myself.

this morning i had an interesting experience doing something very mundane.
for a moment, i considered physically stepping on something that is very sacred, and special to me.
quickly, i had the thought, 'why would i ever consider putting my feet of all things on it? stepping on it under foot?'  I noted to myself, my feet are probably the most unclean part of my body.  Then i considered the symbolism of it all.
i was overwhelmed by my next thought.
a thought that wasn't something i came up with alone. nor had i ever heard of it.

i thought of the last supper.  i thought of Jesus Christ taking into his pure, clean, sacred hands the dirty feet of his disciples.  I thought of the disciples protesting and astonished that the Lord would serve them so. Such a truly, deeply humble act to stoop at the level of their feet, to wash them, and bless them.

i thought of how Christ takes the most unclean parts of each of us.  I thought about the mistakes I have made and my weaknesses that he has already taken into his hands, and washed of me.  I can completely genuinely say that by seeking Jesus Christ and going through 'this process' over and over again, has made me a better person.

reinventing myself includes celebrating my life.
it includes recognizing my talents and great qualities.
it really includes being honest with myself.
reinventing myself is taking my weaknesses and flaws and areas where i lack, and improving!
it includes pushing myself to be something better.
to not settling.
to growing.

when i have honesty recognized a part of my personality or way i react or negative feelings toward someone else that are short of being perfect, i have often struggled to bring that to Christ in prayer, and genuinely felt that he can help me with it.  But as I have done it multiple times, i can feel that i am really, actually, truly strengthened and given the help i need to overcome them.  My goal is to just be a little bit better each day and to never give up on trying to improve.
And this is the gospel of Jesus Christ.

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