continually converted.

i had a series of terrible, anxiety ridden, jealousy ridden dreams last night. there were many different scenarios.  and i awoke feeling uneasy.  those bad feelings still lingering.

what a poor way to start a lovely day.
below is the handsome gavin reynolds.
one of pauls younger brothers.  he is a stud.
he is sweet and funny and just good.
he'll be a senior this year.

I have been meaning to document my thoughts on prayer.  Not so much my thoughts perhaps, but tips on how to make them more effective, meaningful, and genuine.

I've collected these tips from others' over the past 9 months:
-keep a prayer journal- write the things you pray for, write before you pray
-challenge yourself to prayers longer than 15 minutes- you must come up with new/genuine things without the same repeated prayer over and over, right?
-pray out loud- this makes a huge difference to me…plus you cant fall asleep if youre talking
-rate your prayers- check in with yourself on how you're doing
-take pauses-  i specifically love this because it gives me the opportunity to feel the spirit, to pray for the things that i need to, to receive inspiration, to hear answers, to be impressed upon, to just let my mind go clear and blank, to feel peace
-be more specific in prayer- use specific names, get into detail
-be real and genuine, speak to Heavenly Father as if he were sitting right there
-show respect and love by using proper words:  thee, thou, thy

what a personal and special opportunity we have to connect with our Father in Heaven.
i am thankful for prayer.
for feeling like i am not alone, ever.
for the peace and comfort and hope i have when i face difficult things.
for the careful, quiet answers that show He hears and loves me.

consider the lilies

i recently read in the scriptures this line :   for, consider the lilies…

i loved it.

immediately.

its in D&C 82.  I continued reading the chapter.  

"take ye no thought for the morrow…therefore, let the morrow take thought for the things of itself."

i dont always interpret the scriptures, perhaps, as they were meant or in the context they were written.   it is interesting to see how the words in these ancient scriptures can teach you something completely personal and applicable to you. today.

for, consider the lilies.

i thought about the little details that i love to see and ponder on.  

taking a moment to reflect. to consider.

to see beautiful.

to see things that are above and below my eye level.

to see Gods love for me and for all his children.

thinking about this scripture, i felt impressed to worry less. to leave tomorrow to worry about tomorrow—and to enjoy the now.  today.

i woke up to lucy texting me- "just get through today".

i can do that. 

i can consider the lilies.

the blessings and things that bring me joy.

i wish to no longer take lightly the things which i have received.

to seek diligently after becoming better.  fulfilling my covenants.

honoring.

and getting stronger.

this life is good.

i sat on a plane last night.

traveling alone. quietly. is my favorite.

i love the music in my ears and excited people moving around me.

the change of locations. 

i laid my head back in my seat.

i was reading 7 habits of highly effective families.

i closed my eyes and imagined my future family.

i wondered why i wasnt married.

the baby in the seat next to me played peek a boo with me and giggled.

i thought about how short this time on earth really is in the span of eternity.

i thought about how 25 years were already gone. and so much has happened.  i thought: i could still have so much more time. 

i thought how i wish for that one person to share and create life with. 

i thought how the purpose of this time on earth is ultimately to become better.

to strive for perfection, to change weaknesses to strengths, to learn and grow, to master oneself

i wrote down:  marriage helps us reach our potential.  it teaches us about our weaknesses and helps us to improve.  it helps us to become the people that God needs us to be.

and i believe it.

favorites

ive had these amazing brown cords since I was 14-a freshman in high school. at least.
(thats over 10 years!)
they were my favorite pants for years.

with my move, I threw away a huge heap of things that I dont really need or wear. I closed my eyes and gave it all to our local goodwill.
im now at my pants drawer. I threw away all the big girl sizes I once had to wear--committing to never be that size again. I threw away my guachos (sp?) stretchy pants that I held onto for years thinking I would want to wear them when im pregnant. I even had the guts to throw away a pair of old soccer sweats from the hs team.
but now im down to my beloved brown cords.... yes, im wearing them right now. one belt loop is broken from using it to pull over my big girl bottom some years ago.

I just dont know if im ready to part from them...up until today, I havnt worn them in the past couple years... toss em or keep em??

I truly am proud of all the stuff I threw away... paul still thinks im some sort of hoarder...
happy weekend :)

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good posture, humility, & confidence are unconsciously attractive

i got out for a long run in my new shoes.
(it hurt.)
i thought about something i read a week ago in a sales book (the psychology of selling by bryan tracy. AMAZING book. for anyone that works-at all. in any field.)
the topic has been on my mind:

You become WHAT YOU SAY to yourself most of the time.
Successful people control their inner dialogue.


this is SO powerful.  because it is true.
People "become" confident when they are told positive things about themselves, right?  Same thing happens when we tell this to ourselves.  We begin to believe it.  It takes root within us.  It makes us more powerful.  We then have the control and ability to shape ourselves into exactly what we want to be.

The book says to wake up each morning, before each client, before each event/speech/task—and tell yourself, "i like myself!" over an over.   I feel rather silly saying that statement, myself.  But i have noticed I say other phrases, like :   I am powerful. (when i run)  I am the expert. (at work) i can do hard things. (when life sucks)
This gives me the inspiration to keep my head up, keep going, and stretch further.
I truly do find that when i speak/think kind things about myself I am more confident and do the necessary things to be successful.

I believe you can change.  I believe you have power and control beyond what you have thus far tapped into.  There is more to your potential.
AND i believe you can reach that by controlling your inner dialogue.
this works not only in sales/career, but it also works in all areas of life.  it is super effective in building healthy relationships, self image, and reaching all types of personal goals.

I have been experimenting-trying to stop negative thoughts i have and replacing them with positive, encouraging, and motivating ones.  I find that i generally am happier.  I have more self discipline.  I feel light.  I feel powerful—like i can accomplish anything i set my heart on.  I then begin to become those things.

with my clients in the gym, i try to get this message across.  i need them to start speaking and thinking strong statements like this.  they need to believe it to become it.
BECAUSE LIFE ISNT EASY, because it is hard to change your habits, because it is really hard to improve your weakness, because it isn't always fun to do the right things—it is most important to use "self-talk" in your favor.

the power is yours to become what you dream of.

'visualize this thing that you want. see it, feel it, believe in it. make your mental blueprint, and begin to build.' -robert collier

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really?

blleeehht. this grosses me out.

now that I have internet at my new home I can return to the blogging world! hip pip horray!

happy saturday! im goin to my favorite restuarant, pizzeria 712, with my love.

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fresh air

im in the middle of moving. and im being a good girl about throwing crap away.
i swear i am the best mover ever.
im quick and smart with my space and i stay focused.  its going on my resume!

i did realize, as i was driving a car load to the new place, that i enjoy moving.

SF MOMA: 2 weeks ago

i enjoy change.
i find it refreshing
and i love that i start over with everything cleaned out.
i also realized that i have moved quite a bit in my life and that I could probably move anywhere and be happy.

it just dawned on me..
it isn't my actual house, or the things in it that make me happy—
its the atmosphere and feeling i create there.
its the Spirit, and the cleanliness, and the creativity, and the things that go on there that make me feel at home.

i could have this anywhere.


i do love my life, and i love the control i have over my happiness.
this is a win.