Sunday, December 11, 2011

this i surrender

i am 1/3 done with the research paper. i'm celebrating progress by listening to amazing music.

i can't make you love me, if you don't.
i surrender anything i can't control.
this is peaceful.

love. i absolutely love. life has so many good things.
i have tears in my eyes listening to this song. he is talented-his voice is stunning, his hands on the keys. the amount of love i feel today is immeasurable.

i thought about my family in church today and my heart overflowed. i am so grateful for the life i have been given. i love the music that graces my ears, i love the beauty of this place i live, i love feeling connected to people, i really love latin dancing.

i realize i may sound like i am repeating myself on here, but i am just richly blessed for the basics of my life. i can't express enough gratitude.
i also realize this life i have is the product of God's hand.
WHEN i open myself up to his will, act on the impressions i receive, his plan unfolds. and it is always prettier than mine.

i reread my patriarchal blessing and pondered my path in life.
graduation is at the door and i have a lot of thoughts and emotions about opening that door. it is very clear to me that my field of study is not a coincidence. i have been blessed with a couple of attributes that came forth and began to shine as i studied in college. these will be important in my degree of success with communicating and teaching others in my life. i love my education. i love the knowledge i have and the opportunity to help other people with it.

i have literally no idea where to go from here, but i am not stressed about it in the least. i am excited for a new journey. for changes. for more opportunities to learn and broaden my horizons. i want to develop new talents and learn to rock climb. i want to do the splits and do the bachata better than the latin girls. i want to read books of my choice. i want to learn to make curry. i want to travel and see portland. i want to sew a new christmas stocking. i want to loose myself in service and know more people. i want to try to be more uplifting and positive.

i almost fell over the other day when i realized how much more patient i am than what i use to be. I watched myself have control and bite my tongue. my insides didn't turn out of anger at the situation. i have much more control in my level of patience lately. i've been working on this for YEARS and i am so thankful to even see this tiny progression.

life is good. He is molding me.

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