wedding films

im partially obsessed with watching other people's wedding videos. i some times cry too. there are some talented artists out there making these! They have become super popular, and i'm thinking...i would LOVE to dive into it when i finish school..=]

AMONG those talented videographers is Chris McClain, based out of SLC. It was a great experience to work with him on Kris & Brenna's wedding! to view his work and their video click here!

oh oh my

bang bang

i don't know where all this happiness came from but i hope it's here for keeps.

i've been singing and dancing all day even if im learning about osmolarity in the mornings. fancy that.

mum, thanks for the mangoes!!!

i'm on a new dried fruit diet.

love yahs!

can you go today?

if you feel the way i do

or have ever felt the way i do

or may feel the way i do in the future,

please watch this talk

a lil lengthy but AMAZING and genuine concepts here..

it was given by an apostle this month.

i apologize for all my spiritual talk by the way. it's been that kind of time.

and you know what? i don't apologize at all. i'm sorry, i don't write on this blog to please anyone (whoops!). this is just real. and maybe it's boring.

today i realized something and i don't know why i didn't think of it before.

these past few weeks have really caused me to rely on the lord. and although i recognized the hand of God in my life before, and i followed his commandments and tried to be the best me—i had forgotten to really remember the savior like i should, like i promise every week to do. so here i am—he brings me to my knees again. it forces me to straighten out and reconfigure and be humble.

do i really believe he hears me pray? do i honestly believe that he lived and died to suffer for my sins, my pain, my loneliness? do i really think he will help me? really though?

it causes me to actually have faith.

not talk of it, not read of it, not tell others about it. but to really USE it.

one on one.

to exercise that particle of faith. that seed planted within me.

and you know what? i'm the happiest girl in the world.

i have felt the love and comfort that only my savior knew how to give me. people have cried for me and prayed for me and wished they could take my hurt away. and thank goodness for such wonderful people in my life. but it is only him that can mend me. and he really has. and he really did immediately. i fell on my knees and he listened and comforted me.

he gave me an immeasurable swelling of peace that i needed. he didn't answer my prayers the way i wished, he didn't give me an "ah ha!", he didn't set the game plan out for me

but he held me (sorry i cant describe it better..) he gave me a clear mind and peace and hope

i could feel his spirit

and i really, honestly, could not be more happy for this chance i have to grow closer to Christ.

i feel so blessed to even know about him and be able to have a relationship with him.

it is so real. and i know that one day at a time he is helping me be a lil bit better, a lil bit stronger, and a lil bit more like him

“I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man eat of this bread, he shall live for ever: and the bread that I will give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world” (John 6:35, 47–51).

floral prints

for my birthday, i'm going to buy myself a tea cup from my favorite antique shop.

i just realized that it will make me insanely happy.

and that's exactly what i need.

the past 24 hours have been AWFUL to say the least

but all the sudden, after a nice long run—i feel amazing.

life is good. im excited for church tomorrow and to wear my new dress and new shoes!

whoops, i went on a pity shopping spree today...

after i failed a test this morning, i got into my car with puffy eyes and disheveled hair and guess what song was on!? the country one, " if you're goin through hell, keep on going. don't slow down, if you're scared, don't show it."

oh hell.

=] my grandma calls me this morning. i tried to fake a cheerful tone, but she asked whats wrong. i just told her i didn't feel good. she said, "what hurts?"

oh hell.

she called back later and said tomorrow is a new day.

another one to conquer. i didn't look forward to it

but after that run

somehow i'm a lil happy

and this is enough

have a happy sunday

celebrate

today, at olive garden, a young mother sat with her husband and baby. the baby girl must have been about a year old. she was adorable of course. the mother's hair was about an inch long. the husband and wife were beaming. they were so happy. they were super nice. and they ordered whatever they wanted, as if they were celebrating. i watched them run into people they knew, and excitedly told them that they had just come from the doctors office and the wife smiled and said, "i'm good for another 3 months!" i over heard the word chemo treatments.

my heart ached. when i walked away tears filled my eyes. this poor young mother. the little baby. the horror that would be for the husband. and they were so happy for just another 3 months. people sitting at the table across from them secretly paid for their meal. when i told the couple, they were shocked and so very happy.

there are good people in this world.

it was so humbling to see today.

nutshell

i love this

my life in a bottle

the blanket scarf

bahahhaaha

check out toothpastefordinner along with his fellow cartoonists for extra bits of laughter throughout your day

they really get me every time.

today i slept in and didnt go to class

whoops!

but I DID do yoga and dust my whole room

and I DID do about an hour of studying (15 more hours to go..)

and I DID do about 3 hours of editing

i consider it a day well lived.

life is good.

i'm not positive bout that, but i'll keep at it anyway =]

happy weekend

my dreams

have been insane

like really wild.

but last night, it was the very best.

we had a lil baby girl. and we had so much fun. we took her to church and to my grammies house. and we drove in our giant truck.

and she was gorgeous and dainty.

and i could really feel her in my arms.

lean not unto thine own understanding

a boy at school this morning asks, are you single?

i think, please get away from me.

i just laughed when he asked.

within the past hour it has gone from dry clean walk ways, to 2 inches of snow coating everything—and it's not stopping.

it's a lil magical and a lil aggravating.

i won't be able to go anywhere today. and thats good because i have a bunch of projects to be doing anyway.

i will begin with a much needed nap..

it exists

i wish for even a moment that a man would look at me the way kris looks at brenna. you have to see it. in real life. these photos don't do it justice. it's the kind of deep goodness that makes tears well up. i've never seen a man love a woman more. it's remarkable to witness.

this makes me happy.

and it came to pass

my heart really does ache. like one time i grabbed it and said ouch.

i've been trying so hard to practice the things i have learned/read/believe

i'm trying to be strong everyday and put a smile on

i'm trying to do all my normal chores

i'm really trying to do the Lord's will

i'm trying to eat

i'm trying to serve/think of others

i'm trying to not cry

i'm trying to sleep

but my dreams are the worst.

and i get upset with myself for not wanting to do anything

and i get depressed that i have no motivation to do school work

so, naturally—from years of experience, i fell into the things i must do to survive:

-i run

-i pray

-i distract myself

-i write

-i pray some more

..then repeat

i heard the quote in church today, "the one that loves the least controls the relationship"

gah. i hate that quote.

or maybe i hate that its true.

so what do you do?

strive to not love people? don't let yourself open up to anyone?

that seems to be safest.

i feel the very opposite of everything about this image.

the problem is i feel nothing. except for rude.

i apologize to everyone for being unresponsive. i'm just not myself.

i'm so sorry.

i feel very rude.

there are, though, two things i know for sure.

ONE—i aced my physiology exam (go me! this class is INSANE)

TWO—the only cure for anything is the savior

i love my Heavenly Father so very much. he has blessed me immensely. and I am grateful he hears my prayers.

"behold i have engraven thee upon the palms of my hands"

my love

i hope that everyone in the world gets to love someone the way i love this man:

i don't know what he was doing here. it was freezing that day though.

this picture makes me laugh.
he'd probably kill me for posting these images of him on the world wide web. for people in norway and singapore to read (yes! i had someone from singapore read my blog! sweet..).

BUT he's so darn handsome.

like seriously

ridiculously handsome.

i try REALLY hard to just tell him once a day.

i'm afraid his head is getting big about it...

and mom says you can't marry a guy with a big head...

the sweetness

im seriously sick. the kind that gets me all whiny and grouchy. and i'm really out of it. like i can't even think clearly. i've just tapped out for a couple days. i wish i got more work done instead of passing out on nyquil all weekend...

anyway i've just been thinking a lot about this:

i'm so very thankful to know the things that i know. i'm thankful to live in a place, with such a family/friends and have the opportunity to know that there is a God.

i'm so grateful for all the little steps and people that brought the gospel into my life. i'm grateful i created a place for it in my heart. i'm grateful for all that God has given me. i love that i can feel his Spirit and the joy that swells inside me.

i am a very lucky girl.

medicine is kicking in. goodnight.

2011

is here. and everyone is writing bout all these new plans and goals and THE BEST OF 2010.

it kind of bores me a little.

cliche. i feel like i do those things (mental reviews) so often.

they (mental reviews) are good.

do you know what i mean?

ok. i don't quite have something in mind to blab about. maybe i will post my mental review in a couple weeks when it comes time again for such a feeling.

best part of 2010: the knowledge i gained. incredible growth from my knowledge.

hands down.

invaluable.

photograph taken by josh brown