Saturday, February 11, 2012

of heart

"…seek ye earnestly the best gifts, always remembering for what they are given."

7 years ago tomorrow. i made a decision that would change my life forever.
at that point, I could have never comprehended the way I would be transformed. the way my path would be redirected.

often in the scriptures the word CONVERSION is linked with the term: turn.
for example, "turn thou to thy God" "turn ye even to me with all your heart"
I love that turn is a verb. a physical thing.
turning takes effort.
turning is a new direction.
turning opens our eyes to things that were once out of our view.
turning can not be done for us.

this morning joshua and i talked about some aspects of the gospel over bagels.
conclusion of the conversation: God gives unto us what we ask. ASK. We spoke about how questions are what provokes learning. In my meeting this morning a leader (Utchdorf) spoke about how progression halts when we stop asking questions, when we stop pondering deeper meanings. the gospel, particularly the restored gospel, is rooted from humans asking questions. Joseph Smith got on his knees in a grove and asked which church of all those out there is the true church.
We also know that to be blessed, we need to ask for those blessings. When we desire to be baptized, we are asking to be members of His true church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. When we ask for these things, we are showing to God our readiness to receive them. THIS IS PROFOUND. please ponder it.
Over the past seven years I have asked a lot of questions. I have asked God for a lot of things. I have asked for specific things, special things, things that are out of my control. things do not always work out my way. but STILL, my prayers are answered and I begin to see how I am blessed for it.
Part of conversion is a conscious acceptance of the will of God.

In 7 years I see how he has blessed and shaped my life because I have asked for it. He has given it to me. This is amazing. This is power.
some of those blessings and ways that he has shaped my life are too precious and tender to speak of on this blog. other ways include the way my perspective has changed, my growth, the way i have been prepared to be a mother and wife, the opportunity to teach other people, the amazing people i have met, the direction in career and passions, the relationships i have with family, the emphasis on the importance of things that really matter, strength to get up when i fall, understanding of why the world works the way it does, how to live simply, and the capacity of power that i possess. these are just a few things off the top of my head.

i always feel selfish in asking God for things and for blessings, but I now see that he WANTS me to be happy. he wants to bless me. why not right? he's got nothing to loose! but I have to be humble enough to ask. to TURN. to show him that i am converted. in my heart and in my mind, together, i know that this gospel is the greatest source of happiness. I know that life is hard enough, do not deprive yourself of the blessings he so readily wants to give. believe that He is, and can do what He says he can.

funny, i just randomly turned to this page in the scriptures… "But ye are commanded in all things to ask of God, who giveth liberally; and that which the Spirit testifies unto you even so I would that ye should do in all holiness of heart, walking uprightly before me, considering the end of your salvation, doing all things with prayer and thanksgiving, that ye may not be seduced by evil spirits, or doctrines of devils, or the commandments of men; for some are of men, and others of devils." D&C 46:7

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