early to bed

"sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand"



as i was running today, i realized something that i can feel for the first time.
it was kind of foreign. and likable.
it has taken an amazing 22 years for me to realize that i can not depend on anyone else to make me happy.
and that's easy to say. even easier to read. but to grasp the concept, and live it is entirely different. and almost impossible it seems.

for the first time in a really long time, i am happy. entirely, wholly, genuinely happy.
there are many things and people to blame for that. but mostly myself--for not depending on a crutch or an unattainable dream or a phone call or the art of others. i have created my happiness out of raw and organic simplicities of life.
soft pillows
freshly painted nails
the biggest cups of hot tea
being able to balance on one foot, then on my toes, and into dancers pose =]
quiet melodies
strangers smiles
pretty dresses
his laugh
my new rock star haircut
dry humor
warm friends
other countries
and more than anything: the photos

and now i will go read before i fall to sleep.

by predictive text

above the highway, abridged
my sky is rounded
the stars burning a little brighter in my eyes
i press my toes into the concrete
curiousity engaged, i am seeking
that twinkling tune
out in the city im sure
somehow i know you're out there
quietly searching too
the snowfalls on our shoulders
the piles we can't brush off
and suddenly i reach the glass
my palm stretched forth
starring into the pocket of your favorite cords




one minute i am getting dressed, and the next im jotting random words. i just woke up from a much needed nap. im not all there, but after reading what i wrote, this poem quickly means a hundred different things to me. when my heart wants to smile it tells my mouth.

breaking news

i just had a dream that i got speared (yes speared) in the neck.
by a monkey.

polished red

this is what i did last friday.

and it was flippin fabulous.

www.myspace.com/kungfuvampire1

i don't have much to say except, i have been sleeping in a lot, and find myself eating chocolate at 1 in the morning recently.

go read rant by palahniuk

go eat at the cupcakery in santana row

go listen to cursive

go watch slumdog millionaire

and then go stretch

that He may seal you his

How wonderful are sundays?! i love the time that i have set aside to be spiritually minded. i love the quiter times to study and ponder. during church today, in class, i felt so many impressions. some are too tender to share, but i loved that each speaker and teacher touched on topics that i have been thinking about and been concerned with lately. its funny how God finds ways through others to touch you and direct you. President Jensen, today, reflected that there are so many instances of miracle in our lives, that often people displace as coincidence. these instances are God's hand in our lives. i guess what i would really like to share, of all the things i learned today, would be this quote by President Boyd K. Packer. He is a member of the twelve apostles on the earth today. He said,

"True doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behavior."

Understanding doctrine that is true does move us. I have witnessed this change. i wasn't really searching for religion in my life, but i was blessed with the knowledge of truth and wisedom and power and mercy at a time when the Lord knew i needed it most. How blessed am I to have the knowledge that i do. and how grateful am i, to have a personal relationship with God and his son, Jesus Christ. The question was presented in a lesson today:: What is in your treasure box??

What are your eternal treasures? i love rereading my notes that i jot down during these lessons, and moments of spiritual insight. as i consider the things which fulfill my treasures i believe that personally, my family is my utmost eternal treasure. I know that i was placed in the bounds of my parents and siblings for a divine reason. He left me in good hands. I have wonderful and talented family members that i love dearly. other treasures of my heart are my testimony, all forms of art, beautiful weather, sincere friends, the scriptures that reveal the word of God, the joy i feel in exercising my talents, good health, the work done in the temples of God, and feeling of being moved by the Spirit in such a way that tears of joy overflow.

i treasure this life. i treasure the ability i have to create. someone at church today said, "love who you are, and not what you have". i see it is hard to do with the pulls of the world, and especially in a time of financial crisis. it seems all anyone can do is worry about money. but when you stop focusing on the trials of having everything, and focus more on being a better person in general, you will be blessed. and i have seen this in my own life in the past 2 months, when i strive to be a better person, do the things i know to be true, live to be of service to others, God somehow provides for me financially and all my ends are met.

i spoke to a good friend of mine this evening. we talked about how God loves each of his children, those that are members, those that are not, those that do bad things, those that deny the gospel, those that don't believe, those that commit crime, everyone. he wants each of his children to be happy, succeed, and eventually return to him. it amazes me to see the way the Lord provides, protects, and blesses all people. God loves you and wants you to find happiness in who you really are. not what the world wants us to be.

so my rant comes to an end.
=]
happy sunday

there is a light show out my window

above is the tree stump that nearly took the life of my camera and my ankle.

bahaha-- Paige and i had an adventure this morning. when shooting- i am filled with adrenaline and almost never think about what im jumping on. today, this tree broke while i was on it, and my camera hit the tree adjacent. im pleased to announce that my camera and i made it out alive. alive enough to produce these rad photos of Paige. She needed some headshots for her acting career, so while we were at it, we had some fun. im sitting here smiling at my screen, i have owl city blowing up my ears and paiges images floating around my screen. paige, i want to marry your shots. =] heres just a nibble of whats in store!

lemon kamakaze

yes. at least twice a week i trip over road kill.

normally it is squirrel. but yesteryday i nearly popped this bird. somehow, it is way worse to squish a bird than a squirrel. (btw, squirrel is such a weird word alone) so post run, i captured the suicide of two humble organic deaths.

the native bird

I read THIS article today in the yahoo news. it made it on the "front page". i giggled when i read about it. maybe if people would just let things be the way God intended to be, then there would be no problems/complications in this world. ...maybe. =] come on people!! leave the cats alone! who is the genius behind this science project!?! even i could have told you that there was going to be a problem in the ecosystem when you try to remove an animal...

enjoy your wednesday. im going to get salmon with a long lost friend.

dances with her headphones on

so welcoming in 2009 has been a bit of a delight thus far. a lot of change has been going on for me. and for once : i love the change. i've been inspired in such a way that i can't sleep at night and i nearly crash my car looking at scenes, at light, at people, at shapes, configuring angles and guessing shutter speeds. im in love. thoroughly in love with art and long runs and laying in bed an extra ten minutes before i wake up. i have photos scattered on my floor. i've been going through a lot of my old work, the first times i have picked up a camera. i'm sick of it, and embarassed by it but i am so pleased with the progress i've been making. i have begun a very fulfilling passion. with the changes and decisions and move that has gone on in the past two weeks, i feel rejuvinated. 2009 is going to be fresh and i can't help but feel like im going to be growing a ton. I am off of school this spring and summer as i am applying for various schools [with a kineseology major] for next fall. im overjoyed to take this time off to get my personal training certifications, focus on photography, and spend more time doing the things that bring me joy. im going snowboarding more, im going to run on the beach, im going to indulge in rich chocolate desserts, and i want to visit some place new. im ready for an adventure. camera in hand. i think tomorrow i will begin to apply to sj state, cruise the sj art museum, purchase a new pair of heels, and go to a zumba class.

smile. and go download music from the honorary title.

the cold in my hands

is pretty intense. though today was gorgeous! i wish i would have gone for a run. i have much to say, but in lacking time. i will post images instead. here's an update on what has been going on in my camera the past couple weeks...

christmas day with all my siblings!

christmas eve toast

grandma and grandpa kunis
my sisters and cousin
i shot a party soon after christmas...the dance floor was poppin!
evan rockin it..check out The Sound of Orange
grant, electric eelin it
i was loosing light and loosing hope, til i found these lights and we had a wicked good time!
miss tiana king my friends...




LOVE



I went and shot some bands Jan. 2nd. Lakes, Troubadour, Alex Woodrow, The Sound of Orange