Saturday, December 18, 2010


kris and brenna. sealed yesterday. super stunning couple. super freezing day.

a couple days ago i had some very strong feelings (surprise!!)
and i got on this ol' blog and wrote something really great, if i must say
AND then
the rainbow wheel went to town. just spinning away. preventing anything good from happening.
the computer froze. and the post was lost.

i've been so disgruntled about it, that i haven't blogged again. and i can't remember the details of the post, so i'll let it go. lost with time. =)
curse you rainbow wheel!!

im seriously, deeply passionate about a handful of things in life.
like bookstores.

I sat in one the other day in my favorite section
and read books on:
guerilla art
living a creative life
the career of a designer
creating a vintage home
graphic design
national geographic images

and i thought about a couple of things.
i literally spend at least two hours a day following photographers work, reading about them/their work, learning and seeing
i know that by doing this not only am i in love, but i am improving
BUT sometimes if i let my focus wander, if i let my perspective be influenced—I get discouraged. i feel like i can never get there.
there is something that i have heard, and now have a real testimony of. and i will make a sorry attempt to describe it..

do not let other judgements (or your own) immobilize you.
allowing fear (of any kind) in immediately shuts off creativity.

there is no set way to accomplish anything.
life does not have to go in any certain order, at any certain pace, or in any particular way. building a life is meant to be free and creative.
there is no wrong way to do it. if someone thinks your work sucks, if someone doesn't like the decisions you have made, if you are living outside of the norm—who cares. where is the rule book? who is setting these standards? who is to say you can't reach your goals on a different route? take the harder path, step outside your comfort zone, try something you don't know how to do, push yourself
these are the things that will help you improve and grow and continually reinvent yourself

my greatest fear is to be confined by these such fears
to stop creating
to be bored
to stop dreaming
to work a job a monkey could do

i will live the life i dream of and imagine. i will become exactly who i want to be if my mind allows. and it may not be the way others like. and im ok with that.

call me stubborn but i refuse to live any differently. i will always stand by the things i love, my values, and the beliefs i have. i don't need to follow a trend, or go to brooks institute, or wear fancy things.
i don't know how i got to be so stubborn about my ways. thank you mom if it was encouraged by you. was i always like this?

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