to update the world, being namely my mom and perhaps a loving friend or two, i have recently been generously nudged into being my NASM which is a certification that i need to become a personal trainer. i spent a last weekend in SF going through a super rad workshop that taught me a ton. and i am gungho abouts it. i've got a lot of photography and schedule changes as I am taking on this new position, so although i am living my dreams, im also stressed to get it all going this month. this is a very good month. i want to name a daughter Mae. cute.
heres my latest idea:
it's not until you realize that you aren't missing out on anything, that you can find peace
on may 5th.
it is 1:45 am. i have been laying here for 2 hours.
i should be asleep
i should be in someones arms
i should be exhausted
but instead i'm looking out the window, getting up to pee, planning out circuit training for clients that don't exist, oh and meditating how kissey face romantic my engagement shoot is going to be this weekend. the weather is hot but looks cold.
my nails are freshly painted.
i want to be a well known photographer.
i want ot figure out my company "image". i need to chat with tiana.
i want to change someones life.
i want to talk with Jesus Christ.
i want to raise children.
today, i stopped a grandma and asked her where she got her peep-toe red flats.
i want them.
i keep thinking about proper posture. i keep flexing my abs to tuck my tail.
i'm pretty sure im ready to cut bangs into my hair.
i like boys that are artists.
i need that connection.
and when i want to be in love so badly. alarms go off.
and his constant phone call isnt what i want at all.
i miss italian lesson walks and making cakes for no reason.
i truly love the people that surround my life. i wish i knew how to better help these people.
i don't know what to give or say.
what would i say to post secret.
i post a good deal of them here.
i am weak
i am susceptible
i am human
but i will be strong
and i will get up
fore i am God
i love this room
i love my freedom
i love to see
i can make the time
i can refrain
i can forgive