chasing a starlight

i painted something. a friend asked me to post an image of it.

i wrote about a dream i had of my to be husband on this blog. part of that memory is on that canvas. part of my inspiration is on it. wholly, it's silly and technically awful. but it means something to me. reminds me to create. reminds me to dream. reminds me to always be growing. the quote on top reads, "without this emotion, we're only robots". so there it is. in all its childlike glory.

i have a billion and one different thoughts and feelings today. i haven't been posting like i use to, im busy, im distracted. i begin taking clients as a personal trainer next week and this is a start of a career that i hope will last forever. something i hope i will be successful at. i haven't had time to do the little things i love. i haven't gone on a long run in 2 weeks. i haven't sat down and read my book. i haven't sewen my current christmas stocking in months. i have photos to finish and ship out. gah! i swear i will catch up in a week.

but despite it all, i have enjoyed spontaneous loves. i sat under the stars this weekend at the lake. its the one place i know to always have a clear sky and shed layers of glowing stars. as a kid i would love to fall asleep to the bug zapper, and awake to the rythmic sound of the waves folding over the boat ramp. i remember my brothers and sisters playing on the slide together wearing our life jackets like diapers, and driving the paddle boat like a car. i remember picking arrowheads on the shore. i remember screaming at the frogs in the showers. i remember a lady with an H lettered name making acorn people. i remember the huge geese chasing us kids. i remember pushing my little sister on the rickety chair swing. I remember everyone in flip flops and algae infested swim suits. I remember breakfast at konocti and the celebrity pictures. I remember being so proud of my large family when we ate out. i remember learning to waterski.

while we were out on the boat, my dad's fiance said she was freaked out everytime my dad went fast on the boat. she would grip the handle bars. i was about to fall asleep. i thought about how much I trust my dad. I thought about how i would freak out if anyone but my dad were driving. i thought i'd be uncomfortable i would be with anyone else steering the boat. it's funny how much i still trust and look up to my father. i would do anything he said. i would jump off a cliff if he told me to. i don't know what it is. i guess years of him proving his wisedom and love, i have faith in what he says. kind of a weird thought. either way, i am very thankful to have a great father.

it's past bedtime and i haven't accomplished enough.

to view eliza and johnny's engagement photos, please visit desiredshots PHOTOGRAPHY