to be a mama

  I sat on a plane a couple months ago, heading to photograph a wedding somewhere.  I had just finished Brene Browns Daring Greatly and found myself inspired.  Her books are thought provoking, intelligent, and motivational.  I began scribbling in the book some goals I have as a mother.  Some things I would love to remember and be reminded of.  I wrote:


goals as a mother:

• be an example of loving your body as it is, being healthy, being generous, not gossiping
• teach "you made a mistake or did something bad, but YOU are not bad"
• when they walk into the room, light up! Positivity, not criticizing! 
• try not to rub off the "perfectionism" some how....
• doesn't matter what other people think or judge of you
• give 5 minutes with out disruption to each child
• verbally tell them what their talents are
• make sure they understand you will love them even if they make a bad decision
• be an example of being faithful and hopeful, defending the innocent, caring for the weak physically and spiritually
• be an example of Jesus Christ, his attributes, love like he would
• normalizing : let them know they are not alone or the only one that has gone through it
• HOW (tools) to cope with pain and emotional struggles (including being available to them for open, non judged communication regularly)
• example of how a husband and wife should treat each other - children need to SEE and HEAR loving actions, affection, service to each other, and kind words
• make the best decisions (educated and with the health and well being of our family members in mind) for our family and home and then do not compare to others. Be confident in your parenting decisions that are best for you and your family
• apologize to children and admit to them when I have done wrong
• make sure each child feels, hears, and knows that they belong in our family: recognize each of them, make them feel like they matter
• be who YOU are
• let the children struggle and face adversity
• let them make decisions
• educate about positive and negative consequences of decisions
• DARE greatly. Doesn't matter if you win or lose--it's about having the courage to try
• teach by example and word : I AM ENOUGH

I hope to be a good mother. In the quiet of my home. In the quiet of my relationship with each of my babies.  In my marriage.  I find the task daunting.  I don't know enough, I often think.  The other day I realized I don't know any lullabies to sing to my baby and I panicked.  I don't feel old enough to do this.

And then another part of me feels like I've been being prepared for this for a long time. Like it runs in my blood. I may falter and struggle and cry in the shower some days.  I expect that to happen. But I know I can do it. I know because I am enough. I think if nothing else, I can love and teach my babies about Heavenly Father and His love for them, and they will be OK.  Whatever the plan for us as a family, we will be ok if we follow Him