oh. forget me not

do you ever know something

but you dont do it and take action

cause its not what you reeeaallly want?

like my perspective

like getting on my knees in the cold for my prayers

like running 8 miles

like stopping destructive thoughts

like not eating gooey brownies

this is also termed: self mastery.

discipline.

it is important to understand, learn, and DO.

have you ever felt that God forgot about you?

yesterday i knew i was allowing bad thoughts.

i sat through church. i enjoyed it. but i heard a child make noise.

and it brought tears to my eyes. the past couple weeks seeing kids, pregnant bellies, the baby section in stores. they all make me hurt. like upset hurt. like i can't even enjoy it anymore.

its becoming negative and brings me pain.

and i know its selfish of me. i've been blessed so very much. and in other ways.

and I KNOW God has a plan for me.

but still.

i know all these things. but still. i have righteous desires. he commands us to have families.

and im doing all i can think of. did he forget about me?

so im trying to remember the wise words of my last post.

to be happy now. to remind myself of the positives of being me NOW.

of the passion i have.

of the talents i have.

of the freedom and lovely sleep i enjoy.

of the small body i live in.

of the great people in my life.

and i will praise him.