gratitude give me

a thought i recently had…

Why would God bless you
if you have not noticed, or been appreciative of,
blessings that he has already given you?


you and i wouldn't keep giving awesome gifts to someone that threw them aside or took them for granted… right?

it seems there is power behind being grateful.
i have so much i need to be more grateful for.

life is good.

over.

during institute this week we spoke for some time about preparing ourselves. for trials, for marriage, for when the Savior comes, for death, etc.

when we spoke of death, we talked about things we would do before we passed on. on my piece of paper i wrote, express love to all of people i needed and wanted to. my family, my close friends. perhaps individual letters.

and then the teacher mentioned something very interesting and important.
so often our perspective of death--we want for ourselves and others for it to pass very quickly. some people say, they just randomly don't want to wake up one day.   right?
and this is because of our fear of PAIN right?
perhaps pain isn't the worst thing in the world?
maybe?
the teacher said, what a blessing it is for those of us who get a warning.   for those of us who get sick, for those of us who get injured and get some time.
TIME to do those things we want to do last minute.
time to say goodbye.
to kiss and hug and express love.

i've never thought of it that way before...

what a blessing.
what a gracious God.

if being afraid is a crime,

we hang side by side

home.

“I want you to tell me about every person you've ever been in love with. Tell me why you loved them, then tell me why they loved you. Tell me about a day in your life you didn't think you’d live through. Tell me what the word “home” means to you and tell me in a way that I’ll know your mothers name just by the way you describe your bed room when you were 8. See, I wanna know the first time you felt the weight of hate and if that day still trembles beneath your bones. Do you kiss your friends on the cheek? Do you think that anger is a sincere emotion or just the timid motion of a fragile heart trying to beat away its pain? See, I wanna know what you think of your first name. And if you often lie awake at night and imagine your mothers joy when she spoke it for the very first time. I want you tell me all the ways you've been unkind. Tell me all the ways you've been cruel.Do you believe that Mary was really a virgin? Do you believe that Moses really parted the sea? And if you don’t believe in miracles, tell me, how would you explain the miracle of my life to me? And for all the times you've knelt before the temple of yourself, have the prayers you've asked come true? And if they didn't did you feel denied? And if you felt denied, denied by who[m]? I wanna know what you see when you look in the mirror on a day you’re feeling good. I wanna know what you see in the mirror on a day a day you’re feeling bad. I wanna know the first person who ever taught you your beauty could ever be reflected on a lousy piece of glass. If you ever reach enlightenment, will you remember how to laugh? Have you ever been a song? See, I wanna know more than what you do for a living. I wanna know how much of your life you spend just giving. And if you love yourself enough to also receive sometimes. I wanna know if you bleed sometimes through other people’s wounds. And if you dream sometimes that this life is just a balloon that if you wanted to you could pop—but you never would because you’d never want it to stop.”

― Andrea Gibson

i ate the last of my girl scout cookie stash tonight.
and despite how dreadful that truly is,
i am grateful my heart could love someone so wonderfully.
from the deepest parts of my desires. i want to know what he thinks.
i want to know what he dislikes, what he worries about, what makes him happy.
i want to hear all of his memories and hear his voice.
i want to trace his hand writing and laugh over exaggerated stories.
i want to cry with him and ache for his pains.
i want to shelter him and protect him.
i want to make him lunches with his name on it with a treat inside.
i want to love him every single day.