where two rivers meet

meet danee and rob. they're my friends that i love so much. they let me stay at their house in utah and in return i broke their bathroom towel rack at 6am one morning. =[ boo. i'm so nice.

they're are ridiculously cool and in love n jazz so that means they rock.

we, my friends, danced tonight. =]
owl city is the new antidepressant.
do itttttt.

do you ever think that you haven't really genuinely smiled in a while? likes its been casual, fake, everyday smiles? I don't think it's been THAT long for me, i know it hasn't. but maybe a couple of days. and today i had some genuine smiles despite my 5:30 am workday. and shakin it to owl city live in sf is just the cherry on top. you can't listen to em and not feel lighter. life is good. even when you think it's not. it's good. and getting better. i left tonight with a shirt that reads, "i'm a hoot". i can't wait to wear it.

so on the car ride home, before i fell asleep because i am a grandma, i wrote a poem in my head. and i started to like it, so i wanted to write it, and i thought of my texts, so i saved it in a folder on my phone. but i couldn't remember the beginning. i'm tired now.


shadowed stars
the strain, it binds. chokes.
i exhale it away, lighter my lungs expand.
we thought i drew you in love, but still im breathing
the signs are still smearing by
i am awake, but i slept on your imprint today
it felt ok too
he said, the moon is out for you
for you, darling, the city stays lit.
im compact in the brick town
the lines are straight, then dashed.
so i dance in and out of them.
my open palms tan with moonlight
one for one, my noise fades away.
color me darker, never been so light

dear blog

i will never abandon you again.

promises.
it's like i've touched off the face of the earth.
a lot of commotion going on. is that spelled correctly?
either way, life is still wonderful people.
i've been intensely busy with 2 jobs, photos to work my magic on, and attempting to stay in shape. meh.

i am greatly blessed. and i wish to share my thoughts i had while meditating on a recent trip i took to utah. it was wonderful to have some time to myself. i picked up my pen and finally opened my journal again. and these are the things that make me happy. well i must read my scriptures and sleep. there is a pain in my right shoulder. and i look over and see my handsome boyfriend stare at the tv.

=]
i promise to update you soon.
for now images must replace my words.

one eternal round

my grandma is in the hospital. things aren't looking good. and i know that this happens when you get old. and i know that it is part of Heavenly Father's plan. and it is easy to step out and see the big picture and know that we will all get to be together again, for eternity, as we are sealed as families. i know that this is true, but when i think about not having a loved one here to continue sharing things with, it makes me yearn for their presence. the saddest part is feeling that time table. how often in my day am i slaving away at work, busying myself with tasks of life, pushing visiting with my loved ones aside. then all the sudden, we see them slipping away and we rush to their side, hanging on to the last moments we'll get to create together here on earth. why can't we remember these things everyday? why don't we not waste our time away from our families. why do people watch tv? or play video games? i think about how badly my grandpa must be hurting to be with my grandma, to help her, not knowing what is going on. not knowing how long is left. my granparents have 12 kids, probably over 70 grandchildren. they're amazing and sweet and hard working people. i hate to think about them in pain, or unable to enjoy life. i hope that they may know how much they are loved. and even more so feel their heavenly father's love for them. i know that we will all be together again in heaven and be able to continue to grow as a family. this life on earth is just a blink of an eye in the eternities here after. this time in my life has me reflecting on a hymn that has been stuck in my head...

If You Could Hie to Kolob

1. If you could hie to Kolob
In the twinkling of an eye,
And then continue onward
With that same speed to fly,
Do you think that you could ever,
Through all eternity,
Find out the generation
Where Gods began to be?

2. Or see the grand beginning,
Where space did not extend?
Or view the last creation,
Where Gods and matter end?
Methinks the Spirit whispers,
“No man has found ‘pure space,’
Nor seen the outside curtains,
Where nothing has a place.”

3. The works of God continue,
And worlds and lives abound;
Improvement and progression
Have one eternal round.
There is no end to matter;
There is no end to space;
There is no end to spirit;
There is no end to race.

4. There is no end to virtue;
There is no end to might;
There is no end to wisdom;
There is no end to light.
There is no end to union;
There is no end to youth;
There is no end to priesthood;
There is no end to truth.

5. There is no end to glory;
There is no end to love;
There is no end to being;
There is no death above.
There is no end to glory;
There is no end to love;
There is no end to being;
There is no death above.

what a perfect and beautiful hymn.

There is something greater than us. Heavenly Father has a plan of happiness, and we're a part of it. He has blessed us with his Son, Jesus Christ, so that we may have a way to be clean again, and return to His presence. In all times of affliction and struggle, he will come to us and comfort us when we turn to him in prayer. He has the ability to make us whole. He has the ability to work mighty miracles. I have been blessed with such an amazing and wonderful family. I wish I could share with them more the kind of happiness that flows through me because of this knowledge of Heavenly Father's plan. I pray that my family maybe comforted and turn to their Father in Heaven especially at this time. I pray that I may be an instrument of God here on earth.

This reminds me not to waste time.
Kiss the people i love.
Be kind.
Partake of the goodness of life on earth.